Once, I had dogs. They are family.

Once, I had a dog and her name is Belle. I lost her when I was in Primary school.

Once, I had a dog and his name is Jeff. I lost him when I was in Secondary School.

Once, I had a dog and his name is buddy. I lost him when I graduated from University.

I miss them all.

Belle died a puppy. We put her to sleep. She had a brain disease that cant be cured. At 1 yr old, she constantly had seizures and it only got worse as the weeks past by. Slowly, she had lost the ability to pee and poo. One day, I went to school and when I came back, she had been put to sleep. In class, the only thing I thought about was belle. Where would she go after she die? How did she get the disease?

Doctor said that it might be generic or caused by an accident. Deep down, I always felt that it was us. I was too young to request for a dog. I dont know how to be responsible for a dog. Till today, I still do not know how to be responsible for a dog. Maybe we were playing with her in the wrong ways. Maybe it was the way she always hit herself on the head. Till today, I still think that I caused her disease. I caused her life. I am sorry, but the an apology is never enough.

Jeff died at 4.5 years old. He was my dog and I knew it. I know that to him, I was his owner and I still dream of him in my dreams. He died of an accident. He ran out of the house when the gate opened and a van ran into him. He was carried into the house and died an hr after I got back from home after school. He died when I was on the phone with the vet asking the doctor to come as soon as possible. I did not get back in time for him. He was my dog.

Buddy died at the age of 10. To our whole family, he is a Lim. He is with us for 10 years and left us on the 5th of Jan 211 (wed). I can’t bring myself to write about him. I still talk about him in present tense. I really really hoped I was with him on the day that he left us. I really hope that he is in a better place right now.


~ by Alicia on May 8, 2011.

One Response to “Once, I had dogs. They are family.”

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