a little clueless, a little confused, a little sad.

Recently, I have been a little clueless, a little confused, a little sad. Feeling a little useless and full of crap.

My friend called it the ‘early- mid life crisis’.

I believe alot of young adults who are fresh out of college feel the same way I do. It’s normal. Everyone lost their ways and everyone needs time to explore the path that belongs to them.

My dad said that we, as individual, are the only one who can set how we want our life to be.

My dad’s goal has always been clear. He needs to earn big bucks to support his family and ensure that his future generation enjoys a better life. My dad has a vision. A clear and in my opinion, truly honorable vision.

It’s normal. Everyone lost their ways and everyone needs time to explore the path that belongs to them.

But I’m my dad’s daughter. It may not mean anything to you but to me, it means,’why the heck am I confuse? I have no time to waste thinking about what I want.’

Every minute of every day wasted in thoughts is a minute of your life wasted in being unproductive.

Back to basics

 I have never not know what I wanted.

I graduated with a clear vision: I want to be the best marketer.

Then again, this vision is no where clear.

I want to be the best marketer is as good as giving a hazy,’ I-cant-see-the-car-in-front-of-me’ vague  vision.

Its not even a vision. It’s a vague dream.A vague dream that I can’t even visualize.

 How do you define ‘best’?

I don’t know.

What do you know about being a marketer?

I don’t know.

How do you suppose you are going to achieve this vision?

I don’t know. 

This leads back to the first question.

Do I really know what I wanted in the first place?

I wanted to do two degrees. I love Media and Marketing.

Why choose to do two degrees when you can just do double majors?

You don’t learn much with double majors. Two majors mean 3-4 subjects in each field. 3-4 subjects do not bring you insights.

When I learnt about WW2, I was in awe by the effects of media, propaganda, mass communication and the influence of marketing.

I want to know the propaganda effects.

I love my degrees and will never thought of doing anything else.

I love my degrees but they did not bring me anywhere. My family spent ten of thousands of money for me to complete these two degrees. Degrees that I love but … are they practical?

What is most important?

Interest or practicality?

What is the definition of success?

I need a clear goal to understand why I am doing what I am doing everyday.

I always say that I don’t believe in dreams.

I only believe in objectives, goals and plans.

Right now, I don’t have any of that and this is making me feel

a little clueless, a little confused, a little sad.

A little useless and full of crap.

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~ by Alicia on July 5, 2011.

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